Happy Birthday Jaden!

Happy Birthday 8th Jaden!
I love you so much. You are a passionate, energetic boy who loves to share life with others. You are growing into quite a wonderful kiddo! I love spending time with you and sharing all that is new in life with you.
-Dad

Zach kisses a rock

Here's the update I sent our to our community:

Tonight while playing ot my aunt and uncle's house in Sand Springs Zach and the other kids were jumping around on some big rocks in the back yard. At about 5:30 Zach slipped and feel and landed on his face, specifically chin and front teeth. We heard the scream and ran out back he was bleeding, like horror movie blood, spewing from his mouth.

He'd fractured the bone in the front of his mouth that connects his front teeth to his jaw. Meaning, three of his front 4 teeth were pointed to the back of his throat. (think horizontal).
Frotunately my cousin Chris is a dentist and he was there. We loaded up Zach and took him to Chris' office in Jenks (96th and riverside).

Chris took x-rays, and then snapped the teeth back into place. Then wired them front 4 teeth together temporarily. It looks like 2 of the teeth may die, we aren't sure yet, we'll schedule an appointment on Monday with some more drs related to this kind of thing.

Zach is on a liquid /soft food diet. Soups, smoothies that kind of thing.
He's doing well.
After the initial trauma of the accident he stayed calm, and I held his hand while Chris sat above his head and pushed his teeth back into place. Not something I'd like to ever see again, but it could have been way worse.

They don't think he broke his jaw. Nothing was showing up on the x-ray.

So that's the heads up. Thanks for those who inquired from my facebook or twitter updates. (pretty cool way to spread some word really quick)

Thanks for your prayers.
Pray that Zach sleeps well tonight and that we all survive him eating soft foods.
I don't think we need anything right now.
He's up and around, and other than not being able to talk real clearly, and a swollen chin he looks ok.

If you want, you are welcome to call Zach tomorrow (Sat.) and let him know you are thinking about him he at that age when he thinks it's pretty cool when adults want to talk to him on the phone.

Surreal moment at the poles today

It’s election day in the US and where I live in the southern Tulsa suburb of Broken Arrow, that means it’s likely that McCain will have a big turn out. While Pam was taking my 5th grader to school with a few other classmates early for their 5th grade choir, the conversation was around the elementary school’ mock election. “McCain will win,”said one student. “No one will vote for Obama.” Another 10 year old chimed in. “There are a couple kids who will vote for Obama, they are always talking about him.” The first kid responded. “Yeah, but they’re weird.”

Nice. My wife tells me this story when she gets home in the kitchen as my 7 year old comes into the room and tells us he’s voting for Obama. Interesting. It’s one of those moments filled with temptations as a parent. Moments to tell you child, to be quiet about who they are voting for, so they won’t get picked on. And then reality comes crashing in, that this would be the absolute worst thing to tell him. To hide what you believe in because it might not be popular. This isn’t what I want for my kids.

Then later, Pam and I have arranged to do tag-team vote because my 3 year old daughter isn’t in school. I’ve voted and sitting in the minivan with Mikayla, who’s strapped in her carseat, still in her nightgown. Pam is inside waiting in line. I’m spending my time reading and talking with Mikayla, when I notice an elderly man in my passanger side rearview mirror. He’s sitting in the grass with his legs draped over the tall curb and he’s breathing heavy. Heart-attack heavy. There’s a small woman in her 40’s attending to him.

At this moment I’m playing catch up. Questions are racing. Do these people know each other? Is he just relaxing and waiting for a friend who is voting inside? I begin to look for details. I see people walking by, within feet of the two of them. They don’t stop. They keep walking in to vote. I decide I’m getting out to check on them, but Mikayla’s in her PJ’s. So I look again. The woman has left the man and is walking to her car.

Is everything ok now? Does she think he’s okay to be left alone?
I sit back down in the car, but continue to watch the man. How he’s breathing, the look on his face. Something was still not right. I could tell, even from the distance I was sitting. The woman returned and took out a bag with a blood pressure gauge. She was a nurse and she was getting his vitals. This made me feel better, but I felt there was a need for more help and I start counting people walking by.

It’s a busy polling place. No less than 75 people walked by to vote, or to leave. Within feet of an elderly man getting his vitals taken there on the curb. I can wait no more. I tell Mikayla to sit tight, and lock the doors behind me (I’m only walking 30 feet to where the man is) and I ask, “Is everything okay?”

The old man tells me his story. He says he was walking into vote when he got dizzy and faint, struggling to keep his feet underhim, he fell over the curb in the grass. The nurse said, his vitals were settling down. Together we stood him up. He needed assistance for a moment. The nurse took him into vote.

I sat back down for a moment in awe of the moment. I can’t really describe what I felt at that point. There was a mix of anger, sadness, frustration and hope. It occurred to me.

Voting is the lowest form of citizenship a person can actually participate in. Voting, for all the commercials telling you how you are changing the world with your vote just might make you feel good, but are misleading. The fact is, if all you do today is vote, you have failed the rest of us and you have failed yourself.

How can 75 people walk by an elderly man in distress and do nothing. Nothing except vote. Friends, voting is less important than your involvment.

I don’t care who you voted for.
If you voted for Obama, you can’t be dependant upon him to change the world to make it want you want it to be. That’s not engagement. If you are interested in helping the poor through the government, then you’d better be doing it yourself. A vote for Obama isn’t a vote for change. You helping a elderly man on your way into the polling place is the change you are looking for.
If you voted for McCain, and you don’t think that it’s the job of government to care for the poor. Then you’d better get off your butt and do something. You talk a good game, and I know you had socialism, but you have a poor track record of actually making a difference. No government has kept you from making a difference on this level. So quit crying foul and stop for the elderly man who needs you. For all your talk about not wanting someone else in control of your government, you seem pretty happy just to vote and then complain when things don’t go your way. I know you want government to leave you alone. We can tell. You want the rest of us to leave you alone too.

I’m not going to tell you who I voted for, but I’ll say this. We need more citizens in our world and less folks who only want to be voters.

So, if you are a 10 year old voting at the elementary school, or an adult voting at your polling place, remember what it means to be a citizen of the planet. To love your neighbor as yourself.

Cheese what?

Yesterday the boys were with me in the car and we were listening to Prairie Home Companion on the radio. They love that show.

So today at lunch they start (mis)quoting it.

Jaden: (singing) I love Cheese Curds, Cheese Curds, I love Cheese Curds!
Zach: Would you like a cheese cookie?
Jaden: (still singing) Cheese Turds Cheese Turds Cheese Turds.
Me: Son, it's not cheese Turds, it's cheese curds.
Zach: Cheese Turds are what happens after you eat cheese curds.
(laughter by all)

My son knows his basic biology.
I love these moments.

15 years today

Today is Pam and my 15th wedding anniversary. 15 years! wow! It's been a great journey and I feel like I'm just getting to know her. Three amazing kids to boot!



Pam I love you!

Trying to find rhythm again

I let Pam sleep in this morning as we recover from our vacation.
It was a great trip.
1 day travel to cali
1 day Sea World (10am - 10pm EST)
1 day at beach and out with friends
3 days at Disneyland and California Adventure
1 day at Legoland.
1 day travel to tulsa.
= a great time and tired feet.

Today I'm trying to find rhythm again. It will probably be a few days before I find it frankly. I was able to take a good solid vacation. I was more "off" than I thought I would be, which is good news. There was an emergency appendectomy within the Eikon community, but he's recovering very well, and the community seemed to take care of things well for the family. Also there I had a client with a need for advice on a bit of an emergency situation that had come to their attention. But this was solved in a phone call. So I really didn't work much while on the road.


I downloaded the new Alanis Morisette this week and am listening to it right now. I've loved Alanis' music for a long time. I'll let you know if I like it.

I'm sitting in Joe Mommas working. Free WiFi and good people around. (no pizza for me though, back on the diet i go.)

I've got a long list of things to do this week. Occassionally someone will ask me what it's like working for myself. They'll ask something like, how do you go to work, or get things done without deadlines from outside yourself, or sometimes they'll ask, "is there a temptation to be lazy and procrastinate?"

Of course the answer depends on the day. But today, there is a list of things that don't have to get done today, but actually do, if you know what I mean. Emails that need to be sent, that if I don't send them, few people will notice. Reading that needs to be done, that no one will notice if I do it or not.

This kind of thing isn't fun, or easy for me to do. I've got Eikon stuff, Riddle Group stuff, and a bit of "Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors" stuff to do in the next couple weeks.

so I'm off to see if I can find the beat....

Vacation Post Three

On Wednesday we slept in a bit (7:30am PST which rocks for Mikayla!)
Then we drove thru La Jolla where our hotel was (Marriott Reward points and travel away from families pays off!) then we drove over to Coronado island and at at Miguel's which is my favorite and only place I've ever eaten on Coronado. My buddy Dave lives there, but he was in michigan the day were there. Then we dropped $10 and rented a boogey board and hit the beach. And that my friends was fun. Zach and I wandered out to about my chest deep with big waves over our heads and had a ball. Jaden caught waves at about knee level and enjoyed those too, then Mikayla and Jaden buried Pam.

Zach asked, "Is this a sport?"
Me: "Yes, I suppose it is."
Zach: "Is it exercise?"
Me: "Yes, it is."
Zach "I think this is my sport"
Me: "Cool. But you realize that we live in oklahoma? Right?"
Zach: "Yeah"

Vacation: Post two

Sea World was great. Shamu, Shamu Rocks, the Dolphin show, otters and Sea Lions, polar bears, penguins, elmo and sesame street have a pretty cool area there to and some great rides.

I now officially have video of Mikayla singing "Baby Baluga" to a few baluga whales swimming in a tank in front of her. very big on cute points.

Zach loved Ship Wrecked Rapids (water ride with round raft) and he loved Journey to Atlantis (part water ride, part roller coaster.

Jaden thought the otters were very cool.

We caught up with our Michigan friends, (now san diegians) at the park and they showed us around a bit too.

It was a good day.
Each of the kids got one stuffed animal. Mikayla got a commerson dolphin, Jaden got an otter and Zach got a bottle nose dolphin to remember our trip together.

We stayed until 10pm with the fireworks.

As we were leaving Zach said, "This was the greatest day of my life!"

All three kids fell asleep in the car on the way back to our hotel.

Vacation: Post one

Yesterday was a bit crazy.
American canceled our flight out of Dallas to LAX.
Which put us into San Deigo about 11pm.
That's a long day of travel for those counting.
We laughed a lot, but we had reached the end of our ropes at the end of the day.
Couple highlights.
Zach and Jaden think that flying in a plane is the greatest thing ever.
Mikayla sang the whole 3 hour flight.
The ride on the SKylink at DFW was a thrill ride for our boys. They kept cheering at every turn and every acceleration. They are going to love Disney in a few days.

Today is SeaWorld!

Full Plate

Things that I need to give attention to this week:
- Riddle Group (working with 4 different churches this week)
- New Church (impossibly long list of things to do)
- Writing - (Editing the second book is underway)
- Emergent Cohort (organization of)
-Family Stuff
What am I forgetting?

Unguarded Moments of Weariness

My friend muses on is relationship with his eldest daughter off at college for her birthday. Rob is a gifted writer and Scot McKnight once wrote me saying that Rob had insights into the people like few do. Here's my favorite part of Rob's reflection.

Today is my older daughter’s birthday. How I tell her that I love her is between the two of us; it is her choice to share those words if and as she chooses. But how would I tell you how much I love her?

I’d tell you about worshipping with my little girl (who is now neither little or a girl) yesterday. She’s a kid who burns the candle at both ends, and does so long into the night. Between her studies, her activities, her friendships, and now a boyfriend as well, she pretty much always has something going. She is tired, and in unguarded moments the weariness shows for those who know how to look for it—and sometimes even to those who don’t. But she makes time for her old man, and for the Old Man (to use an ageist and sexist reference to our Creator that I hope you will grant me the grace to pardon), and both are gifts I do not take lightly.

She is also old enough now to have learned the hard way at least a little bit of something about life’s disappointments, heartache, sorrow, and loss. She has learned these things because she has cultivated the ability to care deeply; to be mindful of others, of what is important in the world, and of how the two intersect in her relationships. Ours is one of those relationships, and though our relationship could easily take a back seat at this stage in her life, she is careful (care full) to do more than conveniently work me in as she can, making the effort and sacrifice necessary to share her life with mine and allowing me to share mine with her. Is there any greater privilege one human being can give another than that?

The line, "She is tired, and in unguarded moments the weariness shows for those who know how to look for it" made my eyes swell. I can picture this for my kids. Can you? A busy room might not notice the fragile subtleness of our children, but a caring father does. Here is a father who knows his daughter because he's watched her for years and has insight only a father can have. In a world where kids are ignored, or abandoned because of over involved and over committed parents, this is a nice change of pace.

Here's Rob's whole post.

What did you learn today?

All of us are on a journey.
What did you learn today?
Post a comment.

The New CD for my boys.

Every once in a while I make a CD for the boys to listen to.
Here's their latest compilation:

1. Over the Hills and Far Away - Led Zeppelin - Zach really wanted this one. He's becoming a classic rock fan. Some kids can identify cars as they drive by, others can list sports stars they like and who they play for. Zach can tell you when Zeppelin is on the radio. He doesn't get to hear the whole catalogue... in fact this is his first Zep song on a disk. He's excited. Of course who wouldn't be? Do you remember your first Zep song?

2. Boom - P. O. D. - The boys just think this sounds cool. And it does. A great one from the boys from SD.

3. Follow Me Now - Alvin and the Chipmunks -They're kids right?

4. All that Matters - Addison Road - AR played played at the Planet Wisdom here in Tulsa and Zach got to hang out back stage where they were. But he remembers their music.

5. More - Andrew Peterson - Ok. So the kids didn't ask for this one. They kind of liked it when I played it for them, but this is more of me trying to feed them some good music.

6. My Best Friend - Weezer - My kids like Weezer. My name is Jonas is on Guitar Hero 3 so they play it often. Plus who doesn't want music by a band named Weezer when you are 7 or 10?

7. The Old Apartment - Bare Naked Ladies - A great song froma a great band that Zach liked more than Jaden.

8. O Death - Ralph Stanley - From the Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack, this haunting a cappella song is wonderful... and amusing for the boys. A little Zepplin, a song by Weezer and now and old man singing about "the ice cold hands taking hold of me."

9. In the Jailhouse Now - Soggy Bottom Boys - Do I really need to tell you why the boys like this song?

10. Indian War Whoop - John Hartford - They thought that this was unique. But I'm guessing with won't get the play of BOOM!

Got kids? Nephews? What are they listening to?

An Historic Day

Yesterday was an historic day in the Riddle household.
It was the first time, in 14 years of marriage, that I beat Pam in the family Bracket contest during march madness.

A good day indeed.

Father Son Time

Driving to a campout with my 10 yr old Zach this weekend I was reminded of one of my favorite movie scenes and the pressure dad's often feel to engage their kids in meaningful ways.

We had an hour and a half drive to get to the campsite and while in the car I have something in me that declares I should be having some kind of meaningful conversation with Zach during the drive. I love my son and we talk a lot, but these special times together don't come around that often. Too often for me this means forced conversation.

These days Zach likes music a lot and so we listen to music together as we drive.
This reminds me of a great movie scene in Good Will Hunting. Where four best friends are in the car driving, no dialogue, just driving and little music. The scene goes on and on. More driving. No dialogue. and it's beautiful.

That was Zach and I in the car on Saturday. Listening and driving. Talking everyonce in a while. But enjoying each others company, with no words.

It was good.

My Mom - Front Page News

"Teachers are making sure kids do their own homework by knowing CliffsNotes, SparkNotes and other resources as well as their students do.


Teachers either love them or hate them, but free, online study guides such as SparkNotes are rapidly becoming a primary student resource for everything from "The Scarlet Letter" to Shakespeare.

With the click of a mouse, students have access to a plot overview, chapter summaries, character analyses, and explanations of important quotations, themes, motifs, and symbols for hundreds of titles.

Memorial High School's Garnell Riddle and Owasso High School's Beverly Arnold represent opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to English teachers' views about SparkNotes.

Riddle, chairwoman of the English Department at Memorial, encourages her students to use them as a supplement, but not a substitute, for their class reading assignments, while Arnold categorically forbids the use of study guides. "

Way to go mom! Way to evolve your teaching to meet kids where they are!

Link

Happy Birthday Mikayla

Today Mikayla turns 3.

Overhearing Jaden

My 6 year old son Jaden was on the phone today talking to a friend. It's the first time he's done this. He is a talker. Man are we in for it when he is older. Here's what I overheard.

Jaden: Let's play rock paper scissors!

----- pause for friend

Jaden: How can we do this? Do you have Skype?

----- pause for friend (who says no)

Jaden: It's okay we can play. Rock Paper scissors show me what you got! ROCK!
---- pause

Jaden: unintelliglbe (he's walking all around the house while he's talking)

Jaden: Ok! Rock Paper Scissors show me what you got! JESUS!
- I win, nothing beats Jesus.

Slow Days

The holiday's have been slow. Which is very good. We didn't leave the house on Friday. I can't do that very often, but after a busy fall travel schedule, slow is good. Next week I don't travel at all and hope to crank out a few more sections on the "Proper care and feeding of your Youth Pastor" book. I'm pleased with it so far, and the feedback I've sought so far has been very positive. I still have some big chunks to right for it. Next week I hope to get most of the big chunks down.

Jaden is playing "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson - on Guitar hero 3. He's rocking hard! Zach is sitting next to me. He just said. "Now tell them that you have to go, so you can play with your kids." Sheesh. (he laughed when I wrote sheesh.)

So now I'm off to play with the kids!

Zach likes English

This morning Zach is play Guitar Hero III on the Wii. Jaden is watching. Here's their exchange.

Zach: "I've been trying to get this song since I was one [year old]!"

Jaden: "You didn't have guitar hero when you were one!"

Zach: (not missing a beat in the song0 "Figure of speech Jaden. Figure of speech."

This of course cracked me up.

Especially since there is a running joke in our family about hyperbole.
Zach learned about hyperbole in school and when I discovered this, I started using it more. Which comes a bit naturally to me.

I use hyperbole in every sentence.

So now anytime someone says an exaggeration one of my boys says, "Hyperbole!"
Good times.

Zach's Family Party

Wednesday is Zach's birthday. Today is the day family comes over. I can't believe my oldest son is turning 10 this week. Life is full. Life is good. Below is the pic I took last month. All three kids, stretching the limits and climbing the walls with curiosity.

Today I am older

Today is my birthday.
I'm 36.
the family gave me Guitar Hero 3 for the Wii a day early and we've been playing it quite a bit.
Our family knows how to rock!

36 doesn't feel all that old.

There is a weird thought that keeps coming into my head recently. I remember being 20 and working in youth ministry. I remember the "old men and women" who I'd get advice from who were so great for me. And did I mention they seemed way older. I was thinking that they were probably my age right now. In the neighborhood of 36. weird.

I've lived an amazing life so far. I have an amazing wife who is patient and an encourager to me and an amazingly intuitive mother who always seems to know what the kids need when before they need it. My kids are a gift. All three unique and gifted kids who love great stories, and new experiences all the time. and they have the undeniable talent of knowing what toys are being given away in Happy Meals at any fast food establishment. I have truly great friends who God uses to change me in good ways. Thanks!

I share a birthday with some great people.
My friend Mark McAdow the pastor at FUMC OKC is older than me.
My friend Tim Keel the pastor of Jacob's Well in KC is older than me, but not by much.
Billy Graham is way older than me.

Happy Birthday Billy, Tim and Mark M!
I'm praying for you guys today!

Father vs. Son

Fantasy Football begins tonight.
As I've mentioned before part of the people I spend a lot of time with are dads of my kids friends. This year there are six dads and their 4th grade sons in a league. 12 teams.

This weekend I play Zach's team. He's talking trash. But will he win?
You tell me. who do you think will win? Who are you rooting for? Here's our rosters.

ME Zach
QB Jon Kitna (detroit) Chad Pennington (NYJ)
WR Marvin Harrison (INDY) Chad Johnson (CIN)
WR Roy Williams (detroit) Torry Holt (StL)
RB Rudi Johnson (cin) Joseph Addai (Indy)
RB Carnell Williams (tampa) Adrian Peterson (Minn)
TE Jeremy Shockey (NYG) Chris Cooley (was)
W/R Anquan Boldin (ari) Marty Booker (miami)
K Olindo Mare (New Orleans) Nate Keading (San diego)
DEF Miami Chicago


Dang. Am I in trouble?

UPDATE:
Zach wins. man am I hearing about it.

Adoption

I've lost count. Pam and I have so many friends who have adopted children, or are in the process of adopting kids into their families. Friends in Michigan, friends in Colorado, friends in Oklahoma. Kids originally from Michigan, Ethiopia, Guatemala, and Korea.

An example of this is Jay and Jen's site which tells the amazing story of their journey to parenthood.

I read somewhere (maybe Shane Claiborne?) who said, if you are really PRO-Life then you need to be about all that that means. And that's going to mean that somebody's going to be adopting some kiddos along the way, not just voting conservative republican.

I'm really proud to be on the journey with these friends, several of which Pam and I would consider family. Amazing stories and amazing people. People who are uniquely living into the restoration of all things and the establishing of the kingdom of God.

For the readers of the blog, who are yet to be friends, we are all proud of God's redemptive work in you and your great love for your kids.

For those of us who are not presently adopting kids, it is upon us to come along them and support these folks and walk with them as they raise all their kids in the way of Christ.

Let us be a people who live with an awareness of our responsiblity here.

Fantasy Football w Zach

So part of the way I'm trying to build community with some guys and kids in my part of the world is Fantasy Football.

Zach and I are playing 5 of his friends and their dads.
Each of the kids get to manage their own team, which will be pretty fun.
I set Zach up with a team and now he sends me messages.
I realized that this was the first email he ever sent me, so I got a bit sentimental about it.

The Subject: you are going to lose

The email: prepare to cry in football.

What makes Teens Happy?

According to a survey by the Associated Press and MTV the top answer:

Spending time with their family.

"When asked what one thing makes them most happy, 20 percent mentioned spending time with family -- more than anything else. About three-quarters -- 73 percent -- said their relationship with their parents makes them happy. After family, it was relationships with friends that people mentioned most."

Amazing. This is not what most adults think.

Link

(thanks to Marko)

Back from KC

Back from KC...

more to come soon.

Kansas City is great!

Pam and I are enjoying our time here in KC.
Yesterday we walked around the plaza and ate at Mcormick and Smick's.
I had the cashew crusted tilipia and Pam really enjoyed the Romano crusted Mahi.
hmmmm.

today we will eat at the California Pizza Kitchen. I was introduced to CPK by my friends Chris and Mike on a visit to Chicago a few years ago. Then off to the Nelson-Atkins Museum.

Acid Pool

That's what the pool man said.

After all the rain we've received the past 6 weeks, esp the last 2 weeks, the pool has turned to acid.

After he said that he said. "Don't swim in it."

uh. ok.

We started treating it yesterday.
Today... it's raining again.

Anyone considering a cheaper form of microderm-abraision feel free to contact me.
I'll let you swim for free.

Getting Ready for Kansas City

I am so ready to go to KC with Pam this week.

I'm excited. We're staying staying over near the Country club plaza for free thanks to a few of my Marriott Reward points.

We're planning on visiting the Nelson Atkins Museum with the Manet to Matisse Exibit on display there. I'm really looking forward to this. Pam and I have never been to a museum together alone. I'm looking forward to showing her around and discussing some of the amazing works there.

Pam and I are planning on eating dinner one night with Mike and Vicki King while we are in town.

Other than that it will be eating at places we can't here in Tulsa and sleeping in every morning!

We'll be celebrating 14 years of marriage while we are there.

Reminds me of My Grandfather

My grandfather Winston is an ex-WWII-Marine. He's in his 80's now. Years ago Winston was leaving a Christmas party with my grandmother and a man pulled out a gun and held them up.

The thug demanded a ring off his finger and then his watch. All the while waving a gun in his face. Then the thug demanded his wallet. Winston doesn't carry a wallet, he carries a money clip, so he responded, "I don't have wallet."
The robber didn't care much for this, and demanded it again.
Winston said, "I think you have enough."
"Give me your money!" the thug said.

Winston threw his money clip on the ground.

the robber didn't care much for this.

Winston had had enough.

He punched the man in the face.

Then the robber pistol whipped Winston across the face.

A couple days later, Christmas morning, Winston shows up with a black eye. We asked him why he would punch a robber who had a gun. His response. It was only a .22.

Marines. Here's the news video that reminded me of Winston.

Link

When the Thunder doesn't Stop

A couple times a year we get a really noisy storm. Living in Oklahoma in the spring time can bring plenty of loud storms. It's not uncommon to hear a clap of thunder that not only wakes you up but shakes you to perfect clarity.

But there are storms here like last night that are very noisy storms. The storm that came thru Tulsa last night sustained 75 lightning strikes a minute as it blew across that state. 75 lightening strikes equates to more than one lightening strike and clap of thunder per second. The thunder literally never stops. Which is a bit unnerving if you don't have great weather people.

Here's the bummer. I was in OKC with Zach last night and I missed it. Pam however did not and let's just say she doesn't appreciate the storms as much as I do.

I'm hoping for another storm tonight.

With Zach @ WCC

Today I'm in OKC working with the Youth Ministry Leadership Team of WCC. It's a pretty amazing group of folks in a very unique church. Peoples lives are being changed in OKC because of how God is and has been working within this group of people. I'm not a big numbers. I rarely quote them, but this is someone interesting. There are about 700 students involved in their outreach program called "the Mix". The Mix meets 5 weeks on and then 3-6 weeks off. Oh and there isn't a Youth Pastor, or dedicated youth staff person at all. On purpose.

Sure the church has it's weaknesses (every church does if you haven't noticed) but they are aggressively working on their short comings.
One day they will hire someone, but they will not have your typical job description huh.

Today I brought Zach with me. He's out of school and we came down a bit early and have had a good time. He's spending time exploring the church building and reading his latest book. It's good to have him along. We'll see how he handles me being in my 4 hour meeting tonight.

32 pounds of Youth Ministry Junk Mail

"This last month I saved up all the junk mail and ad mail I get at the church and weighed it. You probably won't believe me when I tell you that it all added up to about 32 pounds. 32 pounds of youth ministry related junk mail!

Amazing.

And then, it's also disturbing.

It's so disturbing because every single piece of mail in that 32 pound stack was selling their product with the claim that it could "fix" my ministry. Some claimed to "revolutionize" while others claimed their product was the one and only thing that could propel my ministry into the realm of uber success. Just imagine it...if I just bought this book, or if I just took my group to this camp, or if we just all wore these T-shirts, or if we just used this curriculum, then we'd skyrocket into a place where thousands of teenagers met Christ and completely and deeply devoted their lives to serving God, and they'd all become deeply committed followers of Jesus permanently! All because I bought their pile of hermetically sealed garbage!"


Dan's Blog

Kansas City

Pam and I will be taking our first vacation in 3 years. Actually it's four. I brought her along with me to Atlanta 3 years ago for a National Youth Worker Convention which was a great time! But I was working a lot of it. Four years ago I took Pam to Vegas which was great. We stayed at the Luxor. Saw the "Blue Man Group" and "O" @ the Bellagio. We explored the various casinos. We slept in every morning... great fun.

Well this year we are driving up to Kansas City July 12 through the 16th. I just booked our hotel. We're staying at Country Club Plaza and I'm looking forward to spending some quality time with my wife. I know a few things that I want to do while I'm there, but I'm looking for other ideas. Anyone KC folks read this blog?? What are things we must do while we are there? A favorite coffee shop, BBQ pit, museum, eatery etc.

Pam's Weekend

This weekend is Mother's Day and Pam's birthday. Both on the 13th. For Pam this is the equivalent of having your birthday on Christmas so Pam gets an entire weekend as a result.

Last night I took Pam to the Bonefish Grill a place she's wanted to go for a long time Then we went to see a musical down at the Performing Arts Center. This was fun and something we haven't done in a long long time. It was good. Mamma Mia! is a musical built around 22 ABBA songs. What's not to love! I was singing "Dancing Queen" all the way home.... or actually trying to sing the "she's a dancing queen!" line (since it's the only line I know). It was a really great show.

Today I'm taking Pam to lunch and if all goes as planned she'll get some flowers today.
Tonight our family, (Pam's parents and my parents and bro's and sis's etc) are getting together for BBQ and presents.

Saturday morning is donut morning for Pam but first she will sleep as late as she wants to!!! Pam really likes donuts, but not donuts anywhere near our house. She has a favorite on the other side of town we'll be going to. Then it's a family play day for her Birthday!

Saturday night is the extended family get together celebrating mothers day.

Sunday is Mother's Day we'll go to church and then take her to lunch. Then we'll have a family fun day for Mother's Day!

Grapes

Jaden and Zach were running around with grapes today. They were threatening to squeeze them and pop juice all over the rest of us. Lots of laughter. Lots of running around the house. Then the remarkably quoteable Jaden said this...

"With grape power comes grape juice. With grape power comes grape responsibility."


No he hasn't seen Spiderman... but he's obviously heard the line somewhere. I love his creativity.

The Morning, the Afternoon and the weekend

I spent the morning with a great group of folks in the Emergent Village Tulsa Cohort. Then we went to Joe Mommas for pizza and an energetic conversation on the need for theology to be rooted in space and time and that there is no truth other than God outside of time and space. And Pete Rollin's thoughts that right belief is not as important as believing in the right way. Good stuff. I'm not sure anyone agreed with me though. If they did they weren't speaking up! Fun non-the-less especialy with such good thinkers.

I wrote three chapters for one of my YS books (is this the first time I've mentioned this on my blog?) Working Chapter titles: How to dig a Mud Pit; How to Scare Kids into the Kingdom; and How to get a volunteer to stop sending you FWs.

I've spent the afternoon with last minute preparations for a youth worker retreat with Westmoore Community Church. It's always great to hang out with such "messed up" people. (their words, not mine) I've been begging for a WCC t-shirt that says, "the church of the messed up" on it... but to no avail so far. WCC is a fun to work with and I'm pretty sure it's the only church I work with that is a Blue Collar mega church. If my count is correct they average between 2,000 and 2,500 in attendance on Sunday morning and they have less than 10 staff people. (There isn't a paid youth staff person by the way)

So, I'm excited about my time with such amazing folks!

I'm off to spend time with the family before I leave for the weekend.
Talk to you soon.

Cell Phone Shopping

I'm doing a little cell phone shopping. I visited Cingular and Sprint.

Why is it that I feel dirty after leaving these places?

Update:

Another thought:

Why don't the smart phones seem that smart?

My Future Computer

After a completely ridiculous amount of research and visits to local tech stores for hands on experiece, I believe I know what I'm going to get. The amount of research is due in part to my needing to save some money to spend on the machine and the pressure of my hard drive crashing last Sat.

Unless Apple comes out with a new line of machines in the next two weeks my next machine will be a refurbished 15-inch MacBook Pro 2.16GHz Core 2 Duo with 1GB memory and 120GB hardrive.

Though I haven't decided on the glossy or matte screen.

Life Coaching my Sister

My cousin is a dentist and he's my dentist. He's very generous with me and what he wants me to pay him as a family member. (Generally nothing at all)

My dad is a lawyer. He's good for free legal advice.

My uncle is vet. He's generous with my family specifically with my yellow lab Shelby.

I could go on here.

I have often thought, that as a youth pastor, pastor or consultant that I don't have as much to offer my family for free. Have you ever felt that way?

So when my little sister is seeking some vocational clarity and needs some outside coaching for life (something I offer as a coach and consultant) it makes me very happy to be able to use my gifts and vocation to serve her.

That's what I'm doing tonight! What's really cool is that she was referred to me by her friend whose husband I coached last week.

That's my sister in them middle between my sister-in-law and mom.

Zachery at Scouts

Tonight at Cub scouts all the boys were making posters. The instructions from Steve the very patient den leader, were make a poster about anything you want to, it might be a sport or sports teams, it might be an imaginary creature, it might be a moive you like.

Zach is third. The kids before him draw OU logo's and football stadiums.
Zach starts his presentation with the OU logo, a Lightsaber duel, the loch ness monster, and... Siberius. When Steve asked who Siberius was, Zach replied, "He's the one who guards the gates of hell and keeps the spirits in!"

Everyone burst out laughing. Including me. So funny.

So then I ask, "Where did you learn about Siberius?"

From my "Mythical Handbook Drawing Guide"

Grandma got that for you didn't she?

Yep!

Never a dull moment.

Jaden

Jaden had surgery this morning to put tubes in his ears and have his adenoids removed. He's home and doing well.

Mac vs PC

Ok. In the next 4 months I'm going to purchase a new laptop. My Dell Inspiron 5100 has been a very good machine for me. Very few issues, except of my power cord breaking a lot. But I'm not going to buy a Dell for my next machine, because their customer service is completely frustrating to me. But it's a great way to waste an afternoon trying to replace a power cord. Anyway.

I'm feeling compelled to buy a Macbook or a Macbook Pro. Actually the MB Pro is stunningly beautiful to me. I think it's what I want.

I have also heard good things about the Sony Vaio, but it's not nearly as elegant.

I assume I would want the newest version of Office (which is 2007 and probably be available in June on a Mac)

The other issue is that I will be buying a new phone soon. I'd love to wait for the iPhone, but I'm hesitant to get first generation stuff. I also think the blackberry 8800 is a wonderful looking machine.

Here are my questions.

Mac or PC?
iPhone or Blackberry or Treo or ????

what do you think?

A post for Marko

A special forth post for Marko. Marko my friend, today it's been about 70 degrees here in Tulsa. How is the weather in Grand Rapids. :-)

Happy Birthday Valentine

Today Mikayla turns 2 today. I love you sweetie!

Travel Woes

Yesterday was a long day. Todd Littleton and I spent Monday in Northern Virginia with the great folks of St. Matthew's Episcipal Church of Sterling. Tuesday we were scheduled to leave at 6am from Washington Dulles. Our flight got cancelled and Todd's flight left at 6:55am and I totally scored a 9:30am flight. Which means I didn't have to get up at 4:00am EST. My flight to DFW was uneventful and packed. Former Congressman JC Watts was sitting in coach a few rows ahead of me. There were other famous people onboard I'm sure that I didn't recognize, which I'm convinced is always the case. ORU Head Coach Scott Sutton and former Oklahoma State great / Assistant coach Cory Williams were on my flight from DFW to Tulsa. This is my second flight with them in three weeks. Only the other flight was to Chicago.

Anyway I got to DFW, and saw there was a 12:15pm Tulsa flight boarding in another terminal. I quickly asked a American Airlines desk person if there were any seats left. She said, yes. 76 seats were open. Sweet.

So I book it to the other gate and .... they've already boarded. Nobody to help me. The plane is still there. But noone to let me in the door.
Plane pulls away and I'm dissappointed.

I have a seat on a 3:15 flight, so I decide to eat some lunch.
My 3:15 flight turns into 3:55. Then 4:15. Then 4:55 boarding time.

So I read 400 pages of Peter and the Shadow Theives, something my son Zachery has been urging me to do for a few months now. Then I watched the two hours of 24 that I'd missed on the Fox MySpace.

Finally I land at about 7:00pm in Tulsa. (did I mention that originally my first flight had me arriving at 10:15am in Tulsa?) Ugh!

A Family Conversation

Zach and Jaden are playing on the Wii while I'm working in the living room.

Zach: Jaden take that cord off of your neck! That's how people die playing the Wii!

Jaden: No!

Me: Nobody's died playing the Wii boys.

Zach: I don't want Jaden to be the first!

Me: Well that's sweet. I appreciate that.

Zach: ... and I dont want to loose the Wii.

Today is One of those Days

Vulnerable Post ahead:...

Today the world feels heavier. I've felt it's weight for a while. Some of it belongs to a soul that needs more attention than I'm giving it. Some of it belongs to a deep felt need for community that I don't feel I have right now. Some of this heaviness is my personality... I'm finding that I'm most healthy when there is stability in my life. Ironically it's what accompanies stability that is difficult for me as a creative ideas oriented guy. But I'm finding the wrestlessness that gives life to my creative, relational side of my life also feeds a dark side of my life when I feel unsafe. The main thing on my mind is money, income and bills that need to be paid. The Riddle Family is currently living outside our means and it's primarily my fault. I am struggling with God on some level about this. I feel like most of what the Riddle Group is doing is what I'm supposed to be doing. I know we are making a difference in the lives of teens via partnering with churches and pastors. I feel like the ideas are revolutionary to youth ministry rediscovering it's soul and supportive systems for youth pastors that the church has rarely seen. (of course everyone thinks their ideas are revolutionary don't they) But I am not a businessman. I'm not savy to marketing or image. In fact, I've spent much of my life running from dealing with perception and marketing. The rhythmn of business is feels foreign to me and while I'm learning it I still feel like I'm Animal in the Muppet band, beating drums like crazy, as fast and hard as I can, and missing the beat everytime. I also don't like to self-promote, which is obviously a problem for someone in the business I'm in. The Riddle Group doesn't advertise, mostly because I believe that it betrays something about the nature of the kingdom of God and what I think churches should be about. (This is the same reason I never asked the Jump5 kiddos to sign any autographs for me when I toured with them as their Pastor. It's hard to speak truth into someone life when you are asking for the autograph. It's hard to tell a church that relationships and evangelism are more important than advertizing.)

So I'm in a place where I could be wreckless. It's taking a certain amount of discipline not to become impulsive or throwing myself into constant activity (see the Animal illustration above).

As I'm writing this I'm wondering how it will be perceived. Will it hurt business? Should I write it? Will it help business?? Is that why I'm writing this? I hope not. I need to share this. I need to get this out there.

Today is one of those days, I guess.

She's as cold as Ice!

Tulsa is still under 2-3 inches of ice. The kids weren't in school all week and it's not looking good for next week. I finally found some ice melt at the hardware store. Pam has taken the opportunity to put me to work around the house. Starting Friday I accomplished the following around the house.

1. Moved all guest bedroom (upstairs)stuff including Queen size bed and everything shoved into the two closets in that room into the hallway upstairs and the playroom upstairs.

2. Painted all walls, one closet and all trim. Trim is Polar Bear white. Walls are Happy Camper (green) I'm using a flat enamel for those keeping score at home.

3. Took the top bunk bed off the bunk in what is now Jaden's room, moved the pieces into Zach's room and reassembled it.

4. Took apart the boys computer desk in their room and moved all it's heavy pieces downstairs for Pam's home office in what would normally be a dining room for folks, but is Pam's office/playroom for the kids.

5. Took Pam's old desk (that doesn't come apart and is heavy as well) upstairs to Zach's room. Without breaking it or any walls.

6. Moved a few book cases from room to room.

7. Hung 3 new shelves in Zach's room.

8. Hung 2 new shelves in Jaden's room.

9. Shoveled a lot of the drive way. Shoveled is completely the wrong word here. You don't shovel a 3 inch layer of ice.

10. Cleaned the hallway (mostly)

11. Replaced a few lightbulbs with florescent bulbs. (thanks for the tip Ben!)

12. Felt sorry for myself more than once.

13. Felt manly more than I felt sorry for myself, but not by much.

14. Watched the Doyle kiddo's.

15. Called my wife a slave-drive once.

16. Pkayed the wii with the kiddos.

17. Made a big bowl of chili and looked out my window while I ate it.

It's been a good week. I haven't made it to the gym. But I think I'll be ok.

Ice Ice Baby!

Well Tulsa is under a couple inches of ice. Which means the city is virtually shut down. Everything is canceled and everyone stays home. I like these days. I've spent the day watching the movie Barnyard, with the kids and continuing to paint Zachery's new bedroom.

All is well as long as we don't loose power. If we loose power we'll be packing into the Riddle van driving the short .25 miles to the Doyle residence who has a kickin' Buckstove that heats their whole house.

I'm happy that I don't have plans to travel in the next 5-6 days.

Everyone is healthy. Live is good. Sloooooooooowing down is nice.

Wii are Family

The Riddle Family received a Wii for Christmas. Word has it that Santa likes to do an occassionally crazy thing and wait 12 hours at Target for it. Thanks Santa!

This is soo cool.
We've never owned a game console. My boys both have had game boys for years, and I always wanted an XBOX 360 to play games my kids would never be able to play.

We got a Wii for our kids to be active while they play.
And they are. standing in front of the TV boxing, bowling and shooting rabbits with plungers (a first person shooting game that is non - violent)... it's fun.

Though I can't tell you how many people mention injures when we tell them we have a wii, everyone who plays loves it!

I was sore the day after I first played it... but now i'm getting buff...

Christmas Post #4

Last night Pam and I went to a Christmas Party, cowboy style. For my friends outside Oklahoma, "Cowboy" is not normal for much of Tulsa. Several years ago friend Chris Lagerlof (a native Californian)said that as he watched Joe Dirt, he thought of me and everyone in Oklahoma. uh huh. Believe it or not, I saw way more mullets in Michigan than I see down here in Tulsa, but then Michigan has Canada to the north, and nothing says mullet like hockey. :-)

Anyway, last night was the theme was a "Cowboy Christmas". Which for myself and my wife and our most of our friends means, it's basically a costume party. I don't own a Cowboy hat, or cowboy boots. I own one black shirt which has white thread holding it together which could be considered either, 05 hipster or 50's western singer. My wife is originally from Texas, which is something we don't bring up during football season in the house, but means that her parent's are essentially a pipeline for cowboy and western wear. She got a belt buckle and some other outfits to pick from. Though they only let her borrow one of their less refined cowboy hats, and then only after strict instructions on how to hold the hat and it's proper care.

I on the other hand abandoned the idea of going as one of the Brokeback Mountain cowboys with one of my best friends late in the game and decided to make a custom cowboy hat made from Christmas wrapping paper and a nativity scene gift bag for the top. It was nice. Me, Pam and the little baby Jesus went to the party together. I "won" worst outfit... even after I told them all that "you can't vote against the little baby Jesus on Christmas". They did anyway. It was a fun party. Maybe I'll see if I can find a pic to show.

Christmas Post #3 - Wish List

I have an inner turmoil that I'm unable to articulate. I'm starting this post in hopes that I can find some words for my thoughts.

Gift giving has become somewhat complex these days. Unspoken rules exist. The Wish List is a popular item this Christmas. Folks in my family send each other email with a list of items they desire to be given for Christmas. I suppose this is some kind of extension from of the ol' list you send Santa as a kid.

Dear Santa,

I hope you aren't sick. I'll be the North Pole is cold. I've been good.
Here's my list.

1. A Train
2. An official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.
3. A skateboard
Signed,

little johnny

You get the idea right?

So, this is cool for kids, but it's unnerving for me on some level as an adult. I should also say, that I'm not interested in this post becoming some kind of bash people who buy things, or who make lists. This is MY issue, and my struggle.

This year I've found that people (by people I mean my family) don't know what to buy me for Christmas. They ask me what I want and and I tell them that I don't know what I want, that I have everything I need. I tell my brother and sister that if they (and their significant other) would babysit 3-4 times over the next year that would be and incredible for Pam and I as we are bad about having date nights.

The response is, "We'd do that anyway" which is totally true of them. They would and have. But why can't that be enough? or Why don't they see that this is a significant gift for us as it feels like we are imposing on them to watch our kids?

Look I have a list of things I want, but they are all outrageously expensive things I can't afford. A new Macbook Pro. A dSLR camera. I don't need those things (though I could make a case for the notebook) I'm not going to ask someone to buy those things for me for Christmas. My family says I'm hard to buy for. I'm not sure what that means, expect that maybe they aren't sure if I have liked the gifts they buy for me in the past. But I have liked my gifts. Last year my sister and brother-in-law bought our family tickets to see "the Lion King" when it came to Tulsa. Amazing! Perfect! More than we could have ever asked for.

Here comes my conundrum.

I'm wondering if wish lists are short-cuts to us having to do the hard work of getting to know a person and what they actually would like and appreciate?

I'm wondering if we are far from christmas simply being a point in the year where other buy the stuff I want for me, rather than I buy it for myself? Is a wish list really just a shopping list for people who have too much already?

What role does advertising, and the ease of purchasing power like credit cards have on how we understand giving.

Is there anyway out?

I have this dream of everyone in my family making stuff for each other. My wife told me of a commercial she saw last week. A Christmas Tip from HGTV "Homemade gifts are great if you are 7. Buy something ...." you get the idea.

Not that everyone would actually appreciate a home made gift though?

As I'm reading back over this, this will likely make little sense... but it just some thoughts I'm having. My little family will continue to make calendars for the family with pictures of all of us on them and I'll continue and I have some other stuff I make each year. But this are the questions I'm asking this Christmas.

I'm not looking for you to solve this problem for me, but I'd love to hear if you've had similar experiences.