Catalyst, NYWC, Open Space and Future Conventions Part 2

If we believe that relationships are center of ministry. That withness and incarnation and community is central to gospel then why doesn't this show in our conventions? Granted many if not most of the NYWC speakers or seminar leaders hang out at length with the convention community. There are relationships built and I think this is the best thing about the conventions in my mind. Yes these folks have something to say, and many of them spend as much time in conversation during their seminar listening as they do speaking. These folks rock. Got to love these guys. But they feel a pressure, because some of the folks in the room feel ripped off. they didn't pay $400 to attend a convention to listen to a group ask questions to the expert.

For those attending ATL this weekend. Skip a general session. Shoot, skip all but one of the general sessions. Instead stand in the hallway and gather people together and invite each other to tell stories, go get some ice cream, or a beer, or coffee. Share a meal. Open your lives to each other. Ask about family, ask about work, ask about passions... ask ask ask ask ask. and then ask some more.

Give the Open Space a try. Believe that you have something to offer the community, because you do. YOU do.

Talk about a challenge or even better yet, talk about a dream or a collective possibility. Talk about your neighborhood, or your addiction or hobby.

Transformation is never efficient. Transformation often seems like a waste.

Cop an attitude in ATL. An attitude that you will hold yourself responsible for your ministry and no seminar leader is going to give you the magic solution to your problem. Insight maybe. but that's just as likely to come form the 21 yr old or 65 yr old sitting next to you in the session you skipped.

NYWC is about you and ministry. The schedule can get in the way. rewrite the rules. find ways of meeting people.

corner speakers in hallways and get to know them.
don't accept that they know what's best for you.
If they tell you to not to quit, or to stick with it, understand that they have no idea what your circumstances actually are and they are speaking into great void.

Don't be impressed by numbers.
Don't compare yourself to others or let them subtly compare themselves to you.
No one is allowed to define success for you and your ministry, no one but God. everyone else is guessing and speakers tend to be bad guessers.

In fact feel compassion and sympathy for speakers who need to tell you numbers or drop names. Don't get angry or frustrated. These are good people. Show'em some love.

Make the NYWC your convention. do things that bring you joy with others. celebrate ever morning and evening with your peers. you get to do youth ministry. they get you. you need each other.

exchange contact info with as many people as you can. shoot for 10.

10 people you've spent time with.

thank God you're on this journey. no matter how hard. listen to the holy spirit.
keep your responsibilities yours, don't try to give them away. don't play the victim.

God is fond of you. NYWC is at it's best when you embrace you make it what it is.
NYWC isn't wonderful because of any speaker, or consultant. It's amazing because you are there, being you.

It will be what you make it. So let's do this together. What do you think?

Catalyst, NYWC, Open Space and Future Conventions

I've held my tongue for too long.
I need to get something off my chest.

The best conventions for pastors or youth ministry really aren't all that good. the world has changed and they haven't. Sure there are conventions like Catalyst that come off as cutting edge, (and maybe they are) but they will go the way of the pay phone in the next 4 years.

This and other conventions are put on by big-hearted good people.

Loving people. People who are using their creativity and gifts.

But it's killing the church.

If you think the best way to be a catalyst is to gather 15,000 people, sit in a big room facing a stage for 3 days then I'd like to revisit your understanding of transformation. It also says a lot about how much you actually believe in the 15,000 people you talk at/toward for days on end. It says a lot about your understanding of discipleship. It says a lot about the potential the 15,000 have to make a difference for those in the room and the world. The way you gather people says something to me. No matter what you have to say. Inspiration and motivation is nice. Giving lip-service to leadership or empowerment though is laughable. The way you convene says volumes about what you really think about the abilities of the people in the room. You know what they need. And you give it to them. You hold all the power and you probably feel a great deal of responsibility. To be fair, the people have bought in. They don't think they can do it with out you. They'll pay thousands of dollars to come hear you, the experts, speak to them and tell them the answers. The leaders need you. Their churches need you. Maybe you should supply preaching thru video to them... You and the other conventions are full of passionate people who believe what you say. again, all these are good people.

good people who believe the lie that there is an illusive answer to their problem, or situation that will save them. You save them from their ignorance and in doing so, you add to it by feeding the monster.

For years conventions have made leaders into followers and disciples into consumers. Whether it be a breakout session/lab or a main stage, church leaders give you the responsibility for their decisions and in doing so, they get to play the victim rather then the empowered. in doing this you get to meet their needs, but in reality you get to justify your own style of leadership or service that you provide. Convention attendee's collude with you by accepting your terms and definition of their needs. This is the breeding ground for entitlement. The convention providers feel the stakes raise every years (is the a world record to break? a guy to dive from a 30 ft tower into a 1 ft deep kiddie pool or the next cool artist or speaker?) Not only do the convention speakers feel it, but so do the attendees. They want more. and why not? They can burn thru a steady stream of products that claim to have the answer to all that ails them and feel the freedom of not being responsible for the actual answer.

All this in the name of the kingdom.

There's a need for a new kind of experience.

One in which power is given back. In which people are given back responsibility for their ministry and their lives and the way they gather shows it. Where the people of the church is actually valued in practice, not simply as the hope of the world. The kingdom isn't build by great leadership, but by great disciples.

Disciples empowered by God, not by you. You have no power to give them that doesn't already belong to them. Unless you've been hording it.

So it's time. Stop building pay phones. Stop stock piling quarters.

Open space at the NYWC is a good start. it's a step in the right direction.

What say you?

When (no)one is looking

There's the old adage "Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking."

You've heard it right? The idea suggests that it's easy to be a person of character in front of others. Or at least pretend to be I suppose. We all have parts of us we hide, the irresponsible, rough edges, crude, profane parts of our lives. the adage isn't transformative, but more guilt oriented it seems. Some way of controlling those out of our control. A way of saying, behave, do good, even when i'm not around.

That living in a culture of good people, character is somehow a peer pressure thing. I suppose that's right to an extent. I suppose the opposite can be true as well.

What if real character is being fully ourselves when others are looking. What if real character is letting the rough edges come to the surface? Instead of posturing some sort of togetherness, what if we simply let the real us come through?

Maybe character isn't simply what we do when no one is looking, but when others are. It seems that community is where transformation happens and where we must be most ourselves, not by ourselves. Alone change becomes some kind of self improvement. Alone our behaviour may need to instruct us on how to be with others.

I'm not suggesting confess your ever sin to the woman at the grocery, but I'm suggesting that being yourself with others is neccesary for transformation.

this isn't a solo venture. so I say, be yourself when others are looking. stop pretending. continue to seek good and right things, but do it as yourself with others.

Ice Cream and other things

Growing up I liked vanilla ice cream. I absolutely did NOT like chocolate. At some point in my child-size brain, I devoted a deep resistance to chocolate ice cream. At a birthday party with other kids, only chocolate ice cream? No thanks, I'll go without.

It wasn't until after college, that I tried chocolate ice cream again. 20 years of not eating chocolate ice cream. Still I rarely eat it.

Today I scooped myself a dip of vanilla / chocolate ice cream.

And I felt resistance. I kid you not. Something in my mind told me not to eat it. That I don't like chocolate ice cream.

It makes me wonder...

What other things did I decided as a child do I still believe today?

Crickets

When a person says something uncomfortable or awkward the resulting silence is referred to as "Hearing crickets".

What is it called when a crickets says something uncomfortable or awkward?

Questions, doubt and Consumerism Part 3

Getting Mad:

There's a reactive response to this problem (some might say epidemic). That is that church leaders get mad at people for not getting it. For wanting to make this transaction. for wanting to give up power. It may be the youth pastor who's frustrated by the parents who can't find 30 minutes every two weeks to have an intentional conversation with their kids, or is frustrated by parents who simply drop their kids off.

It might be the associate pastor who can't get his church to get involved in a community, or missions etc.

All of these show the problem. and lead to more of the same.

check this out:
A pastor trying to get his people involved, so that it's not a top down organization, places the blame from the top down.

What does his church really value?

This is the hard part right? Accepting the fact that people don't actually value what you do.

It's also true that people are being faithful to what we've taught them. Wasn't it you who taught them, you'd take care of everything so they could come to church?

Questions, doubt and Consumerism Part 2

As the "Savage Baptist" aptly points out in the comments of the last post, it takes two to tango. Yes, the leader gladly takes power from others when it comes to people's faith often to the point of discouraging hard questions. But the community member often gladly hands this power over to the leader. You might call this a transaction. Each has something to benefit from the transaction. In fact both have something to loose as well.

We talked about this at eikon on Sunday night.

Responsibilities church leaders and community members exchange.
- Roles as leaders (there is a distinction between clergy and laity right?)
- evangelism (Bring your friends to church we'll share the gospel with them)
- missional living (We'll advertise and new people will come)
- meaningful service (fill a slot for us everyone once in while)
- discipleship of their children (what parent's have time to do this really?)
- ministry to neighbors (fall festival anyone?)
- community (we'll introduce you to the people who will be your best friends in a small group)

to name a few.

When the church says they want to make disciples, but then systematically removes the responsiblity for leadership, evangelism, missional living, meaningful services, discipleship of their children, ministry to their neighbors, and transformative community how do we expect to accomplish this?

then answer shows our cards regarding how wholistic we are when it comes to what it means to follow Jesus. We mean listen to sermons and agree with them. Everything else is gravy in this mentality.

For me, and my friends, it's all gospel. In fact, one might argue, that one learns what it means to be a disciple, not from hearing a sermon by by engaging in the very things we take away from our community.

Questions, doubt and Consumerism

Dino inquired about what I meant by consumer in a previous post so I want to answer him over a series of posts on consumerism.

People ask questions. At least people ask me questions. I'm not sure why this is, but I do know that I ask a lot of questions myself. Years ago, in the days nintendo 64, I wasproud to provide a lot of answers. A few years later, I discovered it made more sense to ask question to people who asked me questions and they often found more satisfying answers. I'm still not good at this. (ask my friends) but leading someone to discover something will make a much bigger difference in their lives than simply giving answers. Still years later, it occurred to me that Jesus was asked a lot of questions and he often returned the favor.

To me this was a practical matter, not so much theological.

I also discovered that while I invited and encouraged questions on everything, there were parts of the churches I was working within that were, shall we say, less encouraging and open for questions.

Theology is often autobiographical. Our story, is inextricably connected to what we believe about God. This is good theology if you ask me. It's earthy, dirty, real and meaningful, not sterile, pat, or clean.

Asking questions is the act of a person who holds power. (this is a good thing.) It means that the person might be taking responsibility for their faith.

In the church people who stop asking questions have given away their power and their relationship to God over to someone else to make those decisions for them.

In that sense, often the most consumeristic churches are the churches in which no questions can be asked.

Consumer Church and Eikons

I used to think that consumerism could exist with the church as a means to sharing the gospel. Then I thought about how it didn't belong, but struggled to put my finger on why. I would say things like, "The way you win someone is the way you keep them." but I'm beginning to think this is even not a real answer.

In my mind I'm trying not to be some reactionary guy who declares the sky is falling. No one listens to that guy for more than a few minutes and they listen for all the wrong reasons. I don't want to come across as some purist who can't see gray between the black and white or who doesn't see his own faults in the midst of his critique.

But I am landing in a place where I'm able to articulate in a new way something I've felt for several years now. Consumerism is taints the gospel at it's core.

Consumerism is de-humanizing because it allows individuals to feed on the idea that they are at the mercy of others, who freely take that authority from them.

In this sense consumerism is anti-gospel. The gospel demands that you take up your cross and follow, to find your true identity as eikons of God. It simply can not be delegated, or done by someone else. You can not give this responsibility to someone else. your pastor, friends, family, husband, wife, or kids can't do this for you.

If this is the case then churches who feed the consumeristic tendencies of the people within their community they are in fact subverting the gospel by taking the power, authority and responsibility for being an eikon from the very people they are trying to help.

Consumerism by it's very nature works against individuals from becoming fully human. because it keeps them from the identity that is rightly theirs.

I wrote this 60 seconds ago...

I wrote this 60 seconds ago while brainstorming a Table of Contents for a book proposal. Chances are it's a paraphrase of someone else... but i like it. I'll have to see if I stole it. (The subtitle for my freshly brainstormed book is "Leadership beyond Influence"

Here's what I wrote.

If I could give you one gift it would be the freedom to be you. The person God had in mind when he created you. Not the person attempting to be the leader described in the last book you read, or the latest video teaching, podcast or conference speaker.

Discovering your voice in a context that demands you be all things to all people… which in turn makes you nothing for all people. Empty inside, isolated, alone and burned out.

God’s call is real. While greatest gift I could give you is to be yourself, the greatest gift you can give you church, your family and others is you as well.

Empire and Pain

Last week I had the privilege of facilitating a meeting with the leadership of a local church. The elders and the staff were present. It was a discussion unearthing the ideas and principles they use as guidance for day-to-day decisions for ministry.

Some of the words are words you hear often in this kind of thing. When asked what do you value? Answers like Community. Relationships. Unity. Innovation. Popped up.

Then the lead pastor dropped these on the group.

Pain.

Sacrifice.

Then someone said something like this. "The central figure in our [the church's] story is Jesus and he was killed. We are called to follow him, to take up our cross.

It interesting that often what motivates day to day decisions in a church.
Practically it might be words like efficiency or tradition or pacification of important people.

Or maybe even power, competition, influence, authority, might, affluence, comfort, complacency, consumption.

In Jesus' day Empire ruled with abuse and misuse of power, it was competitive, political, militeristic and consumptive.

Today is really no different. At least the world I live in. America.

I'll just go right out and say it. (it's probably not news to you.)

Many of our churches today have bought to the values of Empire more than the values of Jesus. Certainly this is often under the guise of reaching people. But Empires don't reach people and they never have.

The people of Jesus are called to live an alternative reality of sacrifice and live an alternative reality within the empire.

Many churches embrace values of Empire, which are contrary to Jesus, in fact, they are the reasons empire wanted him dead.

thoughts?

Your Story

Everyone has a story. Our stories are connected to each other. Our stories are connected to folks we find in scripture. They lived into their story. It's really all the same story with God. Under the same sun, on the same earth. A continuous journey of days one after the other connect us to David, Paul, Peter, Isaiah and Ruth. Their story is somehow our story as well. We find ourselves in their story with God.

Are you living a story worthy of telling? or are you playing it safe? Keeping your cards close to your vest? Take a chance.

Imagine that one day in the future as an old man or woman you will have an audience of friends and family sitting around you. What stories will you tell?

It means sometimes you have to Jump, before you have all the facts.
It means sometimes you have to ask a question that makes you uncomfortable.
It means sometimes you have to step in, when no one else seems to be.
It meas risk, danger, adrenaline, it means overcoming fear, and it means faith.

Live your story and others will see it.

Believe the Best

If you don't believe the best about your senior pastor/youth pastor then you won't hear the best they have to offer you. Believing the best about others is an act of humility.

just a thought.

How Acceptable is Normal

Change is in the air. Candidates are talking about it. Pastors seem to talk about it lot as well.
Perhaps is sounds simplistic, but a person's desire for change is born from their personal view on how acceptable normal is.

Normal is status quo. It is the supremely sustainable way things are.
Your need or desire for change is directly correlated to how you feel about how well things are now. Complacent is the name given to individuals who guard normal by people who don't like it.
Complacent people don't generally fear change, they fear loss.

Of course, normal is relative and thus so is change.
So if you perceive a need for change and normal is no longer acceptable to you.
A desire for change may be born from a pure sense of how things should be, or a kind of divine vision from God. It may be born by a sense of idealism, or if may be from a tumultuous inner life in which creating change is a way of veiling the voices in your head. that is to say, that you have a need to make everything crazy around you so that it feels like home.. or normal. Chances are your need for change comes from all of these. Chances are you can't tell the difference.

Random Riddle Update:

There is officially Halloween Candy in my house. Pop Rocks, Nerds, twix, and a rainbow of flavor.... Must resist.....

Do I buy the red cleats?

So it's soccer season. My oldest son Zach has outgrown his cleats and needs a new pair.
We shop around. He hates shopping. hates. shopping.
So we are shopping for cleats.
His uniform will be black shorts, black socks and a dark blue jersey.
He's busy being 9.
Telling me how he doesn't want to be there.
I'm wondering how a kid who can't walking into any store on the planet without asking to purchase something. "Dad can we buy this...." is a phrase burned into my mind like an old TV left on the same channel for a year straight.

Finally he wants to try on a pair.

The shining red pair.

Red.

They almost shimmer. almost.

A switch has flipped.
He really wants them.
This is just like him. He likes to express himself like this occassionally.
Normally, I hold him back.

But today I'm torn.

He genuinely wants the red pair of cleats.

My mind is racing. I'm thinking about what the other kids will say when they notice. Because they will notice, right? I know they will.

OH 9 years olds might not notice right away, but between running lap, learning a new play,
and catching a cricket a kid is going to be temporarily blinded by the sun reflecting off the red cleats and he'll say something.

It's playing out in my head in a split second.

Do I deny him the red cleats for this reason alone?
Do I point him toward a nice black pair?
Take a hit in the moment knowing that I'm rescuing him from the pain of being made fun of?
or
Do I let him get the red cleats? Do I let him express himself with a pair of red cleats, that actually look pretty cool, with the exception that they are soooo red.

Which would you do?

Update:
So here's what I did. I bought him the cleats... on the spot.
thanks for all the comments...
anyone disagree with my decision?

Thoughts on Idiocy

Thought #1

I'm not a big name caller, but occassionally I'll mumble something under my breath. It's not a good habit, but it's true. It's me. My go to derogatory comment for the past 4 years has been "freakin' idiot". Not very nice really, but considering the possibilities.. it's tame. I'm officially changing my "go to" comment. "Freakin' idiot" has served me well but "dunderhead" or "schlep"?
What's your go to comment

Thought #2
It's all relative.
To a moron and idiot is a genius.

Thought #3
Ok. a bit more honest and how God is dealing with me on idiocy.
I was driving today and was thinking a bit of information I'd been told earlier in the day. How one particular young speaker who is occassionally invited to a few conferences here and there and how much I think he has very little of what he has to say. (I told you this would be honest didn't I). I actually thought, why would anyone invite him to a that part that conference, they must be really hurting for speakers I thought.

Then it hit me.

I'm that guy at the conferences I speak at too. I'm the guy the real speakers think has nothing to say.

Then I had to confess how petty, arrogant and moronic I am.

A Thought

The world is more malleable than you think.



Let that soak in a bit.

A Thought

We are all genius, every one. We just stink at putting our ideas into practice.

50 most Influential Churches

These are not the 50 most influential churches in America. Link

I'm trying to to be too critical, but this is rubs me the wrong way. I'm not sure why, but I'm hoping that posting this will bring clarity to myself.

- this bugs me because it makes me want to ask "Influential to who?" I suppose these are the most influential churches to people who care about big churches with leader they would depict as cool or influential. But these are not 50 most influential churches in America. In fact, it a close tie between all the churches in North america for number 1.

Every church that makes an impact in the lives of someone or some community is most influential and there are a lot of them.

- This bugs because I'm not sure influence was a way Jesus measured success. Influence as it's used today is not a biblical value. Today's influence is to directly related to power and a odd form of leadership we value today.

- This kind of things only promotes church leaders to go to the "experts" of growing a church to help them minister in their context. Over all his model has not worked for the past 15 years with Willow and Saddleback replicating themselves around the world. It's not going to work with Mars hill, LifeChurch.tv, or Granger.

This kind of thing only further alienates the pastors who seek "the experts help" from the very people they are trying to reach. Certainly there are aspects of their ministry that might see increased attendance but I'm wondering how many people these churches are really reaching that we we would hold them up above all the others.

So church resource people, if you must right about influential churches, which I'd personally prefer you not, then I'd suggest finding churches who are making a difference that none of us have heard of, churches none of us will ever meet, church leaders who are not dynamic, cool, eloquent, popular or "leaders". I have a feeling that's what Jesus would do. I know that doesn't sell magazines, or attract blog hits, but that's not what the kingdom is about anyway I suppose.