My second Book

So Amazon has my second book on their site.

This is a very different kind of book. It will be interesting to see how it will be received.

A Plinky Poem

If you had a wild animal as a pet:

I have a new puppy. We call him Barracuda.
A mouth full of teeth stick out of his mouth.
He always looks like he's smiling.
But he never looks happy.
Our friends won't come over any more.

Sure he's not as friendly as he could be.
He's got quite a bit of attitude.
The hair on his neck sticks up in the air when someone walks near,
and his blotchy fur coat in places is bare.
Be he's my new pet, a gift from a man who never left us his number.
One day maybe I'll pet him, or he'll let me in the den, so I can watch tv in my small home again.

Gman Reviews Inside the Mind

Highlights from his review:

1. I wish I had this book when I was in youth minister or better yet my Senior Minister's had it.

2. It helps resonate where I am now. We are currently looking or were looking but am slow in the process - (which is a good thing) and think we need to be more like Church B than Church A and well our values reflect some of both.

3. Chapter Twenty "Unfunny Jokes the Church keeps telling" was so true yet hard to read and Chapter Twenty Three "The Comparison Game" was worth the price of the book itself. This line: "Comparing your youth pastor or youth ministry to those of the church down the street is always destructive." pg. 159 (Whether that be literally or those across the nation)

4. It is a practical book for lay leaders, senior pastors with discussion questions to know what you expect in a Youth pastor, what are you looking for and why?

5. Ever Senior pastor needs to read this. I just wish it want from the mind to the heart and reflected our actions.

6. There is a criticism I would like to make of the book which I think is valid. Despite the 35 pound raccoons we face (Read Chapter 2) the book was too short. I finished it and was like that's it? I wanted more. I even wanted a list of resources and a bibliography and a follow-up. Definitely a book for discussion and getting you started on the right track.

7. I think when we do eventually hire our next staff person - they would benefit that our congregation and the people invested in the youth ministry will have looked at some of the ideas and principles Mark had laid a foundation to here.

Tell all Senior Ministers you know to get their own copy.

Link

Fishing Advice from the Disposal

The following article was written in the car on my iphone the day an article I'd written was rejected by a popular pastor magazine for not being practical enough, not giving enough answers and therefore being negative. My publisher thought that since I don't care for practical easy steps 1, 2, 3, that I should write an article about it. The second article was rejected for the same reasons as the first. So I thought I'd put it here for your reading pleasure.

Fishing Advice from the Ministry Disposal:
Practical and Easy Steps to Being a Pastor and Supervisor for your Staff

"Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth." - Baz Lurman

Step #1: Stop reading articles with any kind of practical steps for advice or decision making. Depending on a stranger for one, two, three, step advice may be helpful for assembling a new bookshelf or entertainment center, but will always mislead you when it come to ministry. Always. You can know your ministry better than some writer in a coffee shop in another part of the world. Spend your time listening to the people in your community and less to experts in magazines. You might be better off.


Step 2- Stop depending on or looking to experts for answers. Looking to experts is actually subtly running from the problem. It assumes there's a right way to do things. It takes the responsibility off your shoulders and your congregations shoulders and put it on a stranger who knows nothing about you of your church. Let me tell you a secret about practical advice. It's generic. Generic sells. Which is nice is you own a publishing company. But really unhelpful and borderline addictive if you are a church leader. Remember Mr. Lurman’s quote above. The answers to your problem might come from the people you already have in the room, especially if these are the people responsible (with you) for causing the problem in the first place. Great solutions come from great conversations that explore the issue fully by people who see themselves as part of the problem and the solution.

Step 3 – Stop playing the expert. You aren't one. Certainly you are very good at some thing, adequate at others, and horrendous at others. Everyone is good ad something. Great leaders form environments in which each member seeks to raise up the communities skills, abilities and gifts. Being a pastor often means you feel like you should have answers to problems people have. Marriage issues? You provide answers. Raising kids? You provide advice or you hire a children’s pastor who will. Of course if you take this line of thinking to it's full extent it's pretty arrogant isn't it? As a pastor myself I remember when I realized my mentality. That if everyone did what I told them to do or needed them to be then all would be well. Marriages would be better. Families happy. Missions, evangelism everything would be wonderful of they just listened. I'm finding the need to be the expert for my community comes from others and from me. And this is a subtle temptation to manipulate others or worse, take the responsibility of someone’s life and faith from them and make it my own. Unintentionally enabling is the nature of experts with practical advice. So you relieve others of responsibility for their marriage by answering questions and giving advice. For taking responsibilities for raising kids and putting it on a staff person like yourself who can be the expert. Thus, letting people outsource the spiritual formation of their kids. So here's some more practical advice that might be true for you. Stop reading experts easy and practical steps to great leadership. Stop being the expert for your church and empower people to own their faith by not putting it on your shoulders. Stop asking your youth pastor to be the expert. Instead be a pastor. It's a forgotten art in a culture of CEO’s leaders and execs.
Freedom awaits. Freedom to be yourself. Freedom from the oppressive voice that says you need to fake it. Freedom to love people where they are, not as they should be.

Inside the Mind at Barnes and Noble

I'm excited because Barnes and Noble will be carrying the new book. When a book is written, folks from your publisher, in this case Zondervan /Youth Specialties tell book stores about your book. At that point the stores decide if they want to buy your book and then make an order. The publisher has a secret formula for how many books to print based on how many orders they get from various stores. Today my google news feed sent me this Link . Barnes and Noble. At least in the only store. It's a bit of an odd experience. I'm learning a lot.

Thanks to the good people at Zondervan and Youth Specialies for all their hard work to get B&N interested in my book.

I continue to get positive feedback on Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors and I hope it will be helpful for the church.

Writing and Music

I wish there was a way to include a soundtrack with books. I write to music. It not only sets a backdrop for typing words on a screen, but it provides a rhythm and attitude influencing what I write and put words together.

I wish there was a way for you to hear what I hear, while you read what I wrote.

Perhaps it would be in the margins.

Chapter 12 - (gnarles barkely- going on) etc.

I was tempted to put a playlist at the beginning of the TOC.
But the truth is, you need to hear your own music with the words. Frankly, I hope that you hear your own meaning with the words as well. At least to some extent. Because my meaning is superior to your, of course. I mean, if you are going to read my book and listen to Jessica Simpson, well... I just can't imagine such a thing.

(not) make it happen

This morning Adam from YS invited me to guest blog for the YS Blog. I said yes and an hour later I wrote a little ditty named "(not) make it happen"

Tell me what you think.

Here's the link

Bringing the past into the future

There a lot of interesting things about writing for public viewing. I got an email a few weeks ago from a pastor in some far away place who had read something I had written about 7.5 years ago. The essay was the first thing I had written years and it was the beginning of me turning the corner in my detox from church. 7.5 years ago Jaden was weeks old and keeping me up at night as infants do. During one of my many times up to help his get back to sleep, I laid him down, but instead of going back to bed myself, I pick up a pen a journal and started writing. What came out was a mix of anger, a desire for holiness, a catharsis, and sleeplessness. The title I affixed to this was, "Pastors or Prostitutes" and the article I published online is pretty much word for word what I wrote down in my journal that night. it was the beginning of a long list of rants I wrote in 2001-2003.

When someone emails you and tells you that something you wrote is meaningful to them it's a confusing feeling. Especially something from almost 8 years ago. So the first thing I wondered was, what did I say? So I went back to read it. As I read it, I still like the content. I think I was on to something, but today I don't like my attitude so much. The anger, the reaction, the chip on the shoulder I can do with out today. But I wouldn't edit or change it. It's a good reminder to me about a lot of things. I say I was on to something because, at the time I wrote "Pastors or Prostitutes" I wasn't sure if I was right. I was writing, publishing and daring anyone to agree or disagree with what I wrote. I was searching for truth more than proclaiming it. (Though you'd never know it at the time.)

Here's a link to one of the places the article was published.
Tell me what you think.
Link

Full Plate

Things that I need to give attention to this week:
- Riddle Group (working with 4 different churches this week)
- New Church (impossibly long list of things to do)
- Writing - (Editing the second book is underway)
- Emergent Cohort (organization of)
-Family Stuff
What am I forgetting?

Final Edit

Ok. based on what I know about the process.
So I think that I've completed my final edit on the "Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors" book. I could be wrong. But I think I'm done. I'm going to read it over the next few days, but it feels great to be done!

A Temporary New Look for the Blog

Over the next few months I'm going to be reorganizing my presence on the web.
The blog address should stay the same, but the look will change.
I'm overhauling theRiddleGroup.com site and adding two additional sites. One site dedicated to my new book, "Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors" another that is a hub for me (markriddle.net) Sometime in January I'll likely put up a new site for my other book that will be released in Sept. 2009. Oh, and I'll be developing a site for the new church we've started here in Tulsa. Ok. So I've got some work to do.

For folks who read the blog, nothing should change except the look and few more links on the side.

I'm hoping not to overwhelm folks with Book Release stuff when they come out, but rather point them to the book site. It's probably just me, but it bugs me when bloggers pimp there book every single day, every single time they post.

anyway. the new look is temporary and mainly so you can comment with ease. so feel free to comment!

Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors

"Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors" will be coming out in December and I'm excited about it! Because it's my first book!

The book covers a lot of ground and engages stories of church leaders from across the country as they relate to Youth Pastors.

For churches without Youth Pastors "Inside the Mind of YP" deals with staffing the position in ways that are sustainable for great ministry. This section is informed significantly from consulting with churches over the past several years. The first 14 chapters will help Senior Pastors, Executive Pastors, Search Committee's , Boards, Elders, and other Youth Pastors make informed decisions that rework the traditional ways of finding, interviewing and keeping youth pastors in a local church to make them more sustainable. Additionally it helps these church leaders remember (and sometimes rethink) why they hire youth pastors in the first place. One or two of these things will be refreshers for the average Youth Pastor, (though not for the average church leader) and several will provide a new framework for Youth Pastors on the values the already hold.

The second section (15 chapters) helps Senior Pastors and/or other church leaders to understand what a Youth Pastor is thinking and/or hoping for from them. (ie. Youth Pastor's want their Senior Pastor to have their back.. etc)

There is a discussion guide included so that it can be used for Senior Pastors (or supervising pastors) to engage in meaningful discussion with their Youth Pastor about each chapter. This way the Youth Pastor is able to speak for themselves on each issue. The discussion guide will also be helpful for search teams to discuss and do the ground work for hiring youth staff.

I'm pretty excited about "Inside the Mind of Youth Pastors".

more to come.

crunch time

I'm finishing up both books this week and well back to blogging shortly after that!
I miss blogging and have a few thoughts to share when I return.

A Subversive Blogger

Matt Cleaver nominated me as a subversive blogger.
Thanks Matt.

I'll suggest 5 bloggers you should be reading, but probably aren't.

1. Letters from Kamp Krusty - He's on a blogging Hiatus, but look around. Then add him to your RSS feed.

2. Wade Hodges - Wade is a good friend, a great thinker, an average Guitar Hero player, and very good teacher. When he speaks I'm listening. But then again, he like Qdoba more than Chipotle. How smart can a guy really be?

3. Rob Merola - An Episcopal priest, an avid fisherman, a true missionary to Northern Virginia and DC area. Rob's a better writer than he knows. When he reflects on life, fatherhood, work and... well anything else... pay attention... because it's touching and often humorous. He could kick my butt in halo too.

4. Paul Littleton - A friend and pastor in the Tulsa area. Paul is an OU season ticket holder, deep thinker, great writer and he and his wife are foster parents for at risk kids as well as parents of their own kiddos! Also, you may have heard about the Emerging thinkers in the Southern Baptist Church who are ruffling more than a few feathers in the SBC. There isn't a better guy, with amazing integrity to do the ruffling.

5. Jim Hancock - I can't say enough good things about Jim. Writer, Filmmaker, owner of "The Tiny Little Company Called Me"

That's my list of folks you probably aren't ready, but should.

Slow Days

The holiday's have been slow. Which is very good. We didn't leave the house on Friday. I can't do that very often, but after a busy fall travel schedule, slow is good. Next week I don't travel at all and hope to crank out a few more sections on the "Proper care and feeding of your Youth Pastor" book. I'm pleased with it so far, and the feedback I've sought so far has been very positive. I still have some big chunks to right for it. Next week I hope to get most of the big chunks down.

Jaden is playing "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson - on Guitar hero 3. He's rocking hard! Zach is sitting next to me. He just said. "Now tell them that you have to go, so you can play with your kids." Sheesh. (he laughed when I wrote sheesh.)

So now I'm off to play with the kids!

Zach likes English

This morning Zach is play Guitar Hero III on the Wii. Jaden is watching. Here's their exchange.

Zach: "I've been trying to get this song since I was one [year old]!"

Jaden: "You didn't have guitar hero when you were one!"

Zach: (not missing a beat in the song0 "Figure of speech Jaden. Figure of speech."

This of course cracked me up.

Especially since there is a running joke in our family about hyperbole.
Zach learned about hyperbole in school and when I discovered this, I started using it more. Which comes a bit naturally to me.

I use hyperbole in every sentence.

So now anytime someone says an exaggeration one of my boys says, "Hyperbole!"
Good times.

writing, writing and more writing

I'm keeping my head down and writing.
Light posting is possible for the next day or so.

Still Writing

It feels like I've been writing these books for a while. It's been a few months. Last month was a pretty intense burst of writing for me. I'm getting closer. I'm starting to get excited about the book for Senior Pastors on youth ministry. The more I write the more I feel it might have potential to make a difference in local church ministry. I have several hopes for this book, but mainly I'm hoping that the relationship between Senior Pastor and Youth Pastor will be strengthened and that the environment of the local church will be a better off.

Right now, this is only hope. We'll see what happens.

Until then, I'll go and write some more.

Not so Usual Church with amazing poetry

I don't read a lot of poetry. none really. i don't know what's wrong with me.
but i found some that i connect with on the Icon ( a church in belfast) website.

I'll post some soon. maybe the other people who don't like poetry will like it.

Writing a lot

I spent a lot of September writing the books. I got a lot done. The youth pastor book is 85% done conservatively, and the senior pastor book is 45% done. I want to have them both completed by november 1. I'm not sure that's going to happen. But I'm shooting for it.

Just a quick reminder that in January 2009 you can pick both copies up at a bookstore near you.

Ahead of Schedule.. maybe

I just sent my Randy, my one and only editor, my first shot at a first draft. I'm new at this and have no idea how good it is.

I've had a few youth pastor folks look at it and the response was positive.

I'll let you know what he says... maybe... if I can take it...

Writing Music

My writing music today is:

Feist
Waterdeep (This album is so good.) - Heart attack time machine
Matt Kearney

You the Blog Community

So I was surprised again last night. Someone mentioned my blog and how much they appreciate what I write here. This is such a weird thing when it happens. I really dig it, but it's surreal. Humbling in a very good way.

For some reason, blog is tilted heavily toward me writing AT you the reader. Which is something of the nature of a blog, but I wish there was more interaction between us.

Everyday somewhere between 600-800 of you visit this site. That number can't be write, because only a couple of you comment per day. Granted, it's never the same people.

I added the click comments thing a few months ago.
I confess it's a bit dorky, but it was my attempt to connect with the crowd of you on some level.
I'll be cool if nothing changes. Maybe this is just the way it is. I'm just wondering.

Bill Mallonee is a musician you don't sing with. His music just isn't sing-a-long music. It's not hooky or catchy like that.
But when his song plays your mind is racing. He paints pictures, he says a few words, and then your mind is off thinking about what he's saying and your own context.

Maybe that's what this blog is. A blog you can think with, but don't comment on.

hmmm.

Writing a lot these days

Ok. So I'm spending a lot of time writing these days. My September traveling schedule is especially light. October it picks up again and November is plain busy. My books are due Jan 4. Which might as well be Dec. 15th.
So I'm trying to getting a complete first draft for both books written by the beginning of October, so I can start editting. I have no benchmark for this kind of thing and really have no idea how long this will take, so I'm using the time I have to write.

All that to say, blogging may take a small hit during this time. We'll see.
Thanks for your patience.

I will say that I'm a guy who likes an immediate response from work I do, so writing a book is very hard in that regard. I really have to work hard not to post stuff I'm writing here on the blog... even just to get a bit of feedback.

Oh well the time will come soon enough.

Today and Writing

Today writing is hard. I've got plenty of subject to write on.
I've got the book outlined on notecards on my wall.
But I can't focus.
blah.

any tips for the writers out there.